The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
