i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
