she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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