He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
