do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
