Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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