Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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