Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.