I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.