I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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