yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Someone came in the potted fern
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
