FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened