Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
