my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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