She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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