Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize