Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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