Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize