You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
