Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
