HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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