Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
