I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize