I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
