at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
