Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You can't motorboat a personality
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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