I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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