Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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