Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
