last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
