No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
