quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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