Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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