checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
