Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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