Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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