Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
