And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
