I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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