If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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