so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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