I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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