Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
