I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
