I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
