Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
