Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
