He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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