had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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