This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
