I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
