just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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