so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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