fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
