May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize