Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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