could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
