she looked like the before picture.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
