whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im holly from the hills drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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