i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
