with your own penis?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
