I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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