I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
