If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
