first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
