I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
